Now, don’t get me wrong… I love holidays. LOVE them. Any excuse to celebrate is good enough for me. That being said, the Christmas season is coming to an end; with all the holiday-skipping, there has been a fair amount of whining about which ones are being celebrated the right way. Feelings are getting hurt, memes are being made on behalf of turkeys, and holiday picketers are pointing fingers at Santa like he personally offended their mothers. We get it– some holidays are bullies.
So, we decided to list them in order.
8. New Year’s Eve
You know why New Years is great? There’s magic in the potential for new beginnings and every single person is willing to get behind that. It’s short, sparkly, full of excitement, champagne, and low stress. Everyone has the potential to wake up the next year, shake off the glitter, and move on with the aspiration to better themselves.
Thanksgiving is not a jerky holiday; Thanksgiving is the red-headed step child of holidays. Though it’s origins are questionable, the ideals behind Thanksgiving are solid… but everyone still skips over to celebrate Christmas for two months (because WHO doesn’t love listening to Jingle Bell Rock for a solid 55 days?!) Thanksgiving is usually celebrated for a total of 5 hours before switching back to 24/7 of the guy in the big red suit.
Easter is a religious holiday where everyone who normally doesn’t go to church suddenly decides to pay the pews a visit… And then the world just threw in a few unrelated associations. Colorful eggs with candy inside? Sure. Marshmallows in the shape of baby chickens? Absolutely. A giant trespassing bunny who breaks into your house while you’re sleeping to leave presents? Why not. Talk about unreal expectations.
Still, not as offensive as most holidays, so Easter has a pretty low jerk rating, as well.
Halloween is my favorite holiday… but let’s be real. It gives full approval for anyone to dress as anything in a mocking way. Some people take seriously offensive ideas and like to portray them with an IRL drunken night spent as another person.