A letter to the girl who loves a challenge

Is it the boy that your entire family hates? Maybe it’s the boy at school that everyone has a crush on but for some reason you feel you have a shot. Whichever it is, you like the challenge. It may not be a boy thing, it may show up in academics, sports, or your favorite hobby but wherever it shows, it is definitely there. You are a girl who likes a challenge.

I am a girl who loves a challenge. My challenges seem to be the boy pool, in the sense that I am really bad at picking out the worst boys and trying to make them ‘whole’ again, or mine, or both. Which shouldn’t be what I go for but that’s what it seems to be. I cannot help it, it is just something that must be programmed in my system and no matter how hard I try I cannot seem to shake this “I can fix him” or a “he’s not that broken” mindset. Which isn’t good for my self-esteem because it always leads to lots of tears and heartache on my part when I cannot fix the problem, or when they make every excuse to not let me try. But that is just a day in the life of a girl who loves a challenge. Because the girl who loves a challenge ends up getting let down a lot more than she gets brought up.

This is a hard thing to handle for a girl, when exactly do you realize that you are the girl who likes a challenge? Is it when every friend you have tells you that you and your boyfriend are extremely wrong for each other, for over a year. Or maybe it’s the moment you’ve spent all day trying to come up with a date/not date for someone you’ve liked for a while but are just trying to get to know, then you wake up the next day to see they’ve basically just dropped your plans and moved on to something better. Something better than whatever you planned out, in their eyes. It could be the moment you are sitting in bed at 3am wondering why you thought staying at school for the long weekend for the chance to hangout with a boy was in your best interest. Maybe it is the moment you call your best friend crying because you just cannot handle feeling this stupid for one more minute. Whatever it is, or whenever it is, it sucks. It really, really just sucks.

We do crazy things, girls. Honestly, all girls will do crazy things for a boy they like but boys never seem to catch on. At least the boys I have chased after. What a funny thing, the struggle of being a girl who loves a challenge. Not only do you love a challenge but the challenge is probably the one thing you should be able to live without, only you cant.


Sidney Johnson

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