I’m guilty, you’re guilty, we’re all guilty. Who cares if we fib a little bit, as long as we’re drunk and happy, right?
10. “I’m not that drunk.” She says as she trips over her own feet and spills her shot.
9. “I’M SO DRUNK.” She says as she holds the same vodka cranberry she was holding 2 hours ago.
8. “I SnapChat-ted him by accident.” She says as he opens the 17th snap of the night without responding.
7. “I love being single.” She says as she swipes through Tinder between sips of her margarita.
6. “I haven’t had Taco Bell in forever.” She says as she pulls a Taco Bell receipt out of her purse while looking for her lipstick.
Thanksgiving reminds us to be humble and grateful for things we take advantage of daily; family, friends, food, cars, money, etc. It’s important to prioritize the intangible blessings like having your sisters as a shoulder to cry on or your parents to pick up your slack, but let’s not forget the little things. This light-hearted list of “blessings” should hit home for every college gal out there (hopefully…because that would be awkward if it was just me.)
12. Uber. How the hell would you get from the pregame to the party without it? Remember all the times the driver handed you the aux cord.
11. Drunk Taco Bell. The palace of regret and satisfaction, T-Bell will give you the Crunch Wrap Supreme you deserve after funneling that wine like a champ at the frat party.
10. Liquor with less calories. You don’t feel guilty shooting back that last round of whiskey before heading out because at least you’re sparing a 400-calorie-beer belly and can still wear that cute crop top.
9. Boobs. Something about them makes guys bow at our feet. Free drinks at the bar, free dinners, fire Insta selfies… boobs are kind of like backstage passes.
8. Sticky boobs. We would NOT get away with that backless dress for Vegas or that low cut halter top without these bad boys. Thanks for letting us wear less clothing than ever before, chicken cutlets.
7. 50% off sale on Tobi like…all the time. Thank goodness there are 5,000 dresses and rompers that would work perfectly for formal in three days… and I don’t have to spend my entire paycheck on them either. I can save some for the alcohol I’m going to pregame with.