The Week Before Spring Break as Told by SNL

The week before Spring Break, otherwise known as midterm week can be hell.  Between papers, tests, and other assignments this week is stressful. Thankfully there is a light at the end of the tunnel, however, known as Spring Break.

10. When all of your teachers assign a boat load of homework and assignments all due the week before break

9. Group projects… don’t even get me started

8. When you have a midterm tomorrow and you haven’t opened a book yet.

7. When your professor asks if you’re ready for the exam

6. ..and you just give her a look of horror

I’m going to fail.

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20 Basic Insta Captions You’re Bound to See Over SB

You smell that? Yeah, it’s the smell of freedom. Freedom from the brick jail buildings, the stacks of books we’re supposed to be reading, and the classes we’re supposed to be attending. We’ve been counting down the days since we came back from winter break. Spring Break, we missed you, you beautiful son of a bitch.

Your Insta feed will blow up with everything, from  your BFF next to a hottie on the beach to that person laying by their parents pool trying to pretend they’re on a luxurious island. No matter the picture, each caption will be as basic as the last. Something along the lines of….

A Beach Reference:

“Life’s a Beach”

“Finally getting my dose of Vitamin SEA”

*palm tree emoji* *fruity drink emoji*

“Nothing beats this view” *wave emoji*

“Beach-y Keen”

“Throwing what we know all the way in ____”

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Something about De-Stressing:

*#GoodVibes*

“Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination”

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A Drinking Reference:

“Cheers to good friends and greater drinks!”

“Wouldn’t want to spend a week drinking Pina Coladas with anyone else”

“Spring Break:1 Me:0”

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Country Song or Current Top Hit Reference:
“Ass in the water, toes in the sand, not a worry in the world, cold beer in my hand”

*Anything from Luke Bryan’s “Sorority Girl”*

*Anything from one of Luke Bryan’s Spring Break Albums*

“I got hoes in different area codes”

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Being Too Obsessed With Their Little/Big/BFF/BF/ETC.:

“Love you more than half priced margaritas”

“Thanks for being my partner in crime this week XOXO”

“Wouldn’t want to *insert inside joke that nobody will understand here* with anyone else”

“Shoutout to _____ for putting up with me all week and taking care of me”

“You’re my person”

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Yeeeeeah, maybe it’s just best to stay off Instagram for the next few days….

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5 Adventures To Go On With Your Sisters

5 Adventures to Take With Your Sisters

Your sorority sisters are the best friends of college life. You laugh together, you cry together; you pull all-night study sessions, 3 AM top-secret Taco Bell runs, and post-break up wine fests together. They are your backbone and your Achilles heel- your fun night out and the occasional mess you’re cleaning up.

With time, money, youth and love on your side, who better to take an adventure with?

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Five Adventures to Take with Your Sisters:

5. Bar Hopping in Your College Town

Maybe you’re lucky and went to school in a town that is 100% college centered- plenty of bars and fun places to choose from! For those who aren’t as fortunate, there are still bound to be smaller dive bars and featured karaoke nights somewhere in that little town of yours- find it, grab a handful of your favorite drinking buddies and own it. The liquor will be cheap and your bed will only be 5 minutes away.

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4, Road Trips

Road Trips create the kind of memories you hear about whenever the alums come to reminisce about their college days. Your best friends, a mix of road tunes you can vibe to, and the promise of a small vacation- nothing bonds people like the freedom of open highway and hours of hilarious, sentimental conversation.

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3. Beach Bound

Whether it’s a Spring Break throwdown with 800 of your fellow Greeks or an intimate summer vacation with a few of your sisters, sun, sand, and a drink in your hand makes for a relaxing getaway you’ll want to repeat year after year.

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2. Festivals

Fall, fairs, and three-day concerts- festivals come in all shapes and sizes. Nothing bonds you quite like camping and dancing the weekend away with your best friends. Or if carnival rides and apple picking are more your style, find some local events and go for a fun photo-op in the great outdoors!

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1. Cultural Vacation

Some times getting the Hell out of Dodge is exactly what you need to keep your sanity. Take a week (or Hell, two if you can spare it), find a city you’ve never explored- at home, abroad, or otherwise – and grab yourself a little bit of culture. It’ll forever solidify that place as an experience you had with your sisters during a time when you could afford to go a little wild.

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30 Thoughts A Sorority Girl Has When Missing Out On Her PC’s Spring Break Trip

My pledge class is currently soaking up the sun and having lots of fun in For Lauderdale, or as college students across the nation have adorably re-named it, “Frat Lauderdale.”

“Cash, are you coming to Frat Laudy?!” asked one of my sisters.

“No, I’ve got stuff to do.” I replied.

By stuff I meant getting ahead on articles and binge eating. Here’s a GIF of Blake Lively as Serena Van Der Woodsen to make me feel better about my decision, because if SVD does something, then you know it’s cool.

Spring Break Trip

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Seriously, though, why am I in my west suburban hometown writing articles and wearing a pair of flannel pants like it is the only article of clothing I own?

There are a few reasons. One is that I am lame and I want to save money. The other is that I am lame and I, apparently, love my family more than I love blacking out and getting tan. So, to review, I am lame and I decided to come home for spring break. I am sure there are a lot of other lame-o’s out there who are feeling the same way as I am right now. Rock on, lame-o’s. I’m  not even half way through my break and I have already had all of these thoughts regarding my absence from my PC’s spring break vacation.

30.) “The fear of missing out is all too real.”

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29.) “At least I am not consuming the calories they are drinking.”

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28.) “But I am consuming the same amount of calories they are drinking by eating all the food in my house.”

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27.) “I wonder if I got a spray tan if they would even notice that I didn’t go to Frat Laudy with them.”

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26.) “Is it bad that I am kind of praying they all get a totally treatable but all too real STI?”

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25.) “Not that I want them to be infected, I just want them to have fond memories of their break.”

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24.) “Wow, I think I am a bitch for wishing STI’s on my sisters.”

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23.) “I still have time to buy a ticket and surprise them down there.”

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22.) “I’m not going to though, because my Mom said we could order Chinese food on Friday.”

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21.) “At least I am getting ahead on all of my homework.”

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20.) “But then that just means I am going to be free when we get back to school while they are doing all the work they didn’t do over break.”

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19.) “If they keep Instagramming and Snapchatting pictures of how much fun they are having, I am going to have to deactivate.”

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18.) “Seriously, I am just about ready to throw my phone into a pool.”

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17.) “Oh wait a minute, I am home and do not have a pool…$&%*”

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16.) “The joke is on them, really, I am getting my doctor’s appointments out of the way and I am getting my hair cut later this week, I’m basically being an adult while they are partaking in juvenile antics.”

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15.) “No, the joke is on me, because I am considering a hair cut and a trip to the gynecologist as exciting Spring Break activities.”

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14.) “At least I am not spending a ton of money doing what we do every weekend (aka getting drunk and hanging out.)

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13.) “But they are getting drunk and hanging out on a beautiful beach…”

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12.) “They win, they totally win.”

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11.) “I hope they are being safe.”

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10.) “Although I am jealous as f***, I cannot wait to hear all the stories they have when they get back.”

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9.) “I wonder if Spring Break is anything like the way it was depicted in ‘From Justin To Kelly.'”

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8.) “God I hope they all come back together in one piece.”

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7.) “I take back the thing I said about the STI’s…I was just in a dark place when I said that.”

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6.) “When I say a dark place I mean boring-ass suburbia.”

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5.) “It’s not my PC’s fault that they are fun and adventurous and I am frugal and boring.”

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4.) “At least I know I won’t be having sex with anybody this week, so that reduces my chances of any pregnancy scares in the weeks to come.”

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3.) “And Mom offered to take me to Target, so life here is actually really, really good.”

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2.) “Oh, who am I kidding Target does not beat hanging out with my beautiful and crazy pledge class.”

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1.) “I miss them all so so much.”

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