The 18 Best Things About Having Guy Friends

The coveted, platonic relationship between a guy and a girl BFF is something most only see as legend.

Two people with potential sexual energy CANNOT POSSIBLY get along without wanting to jump each other. Am I right?

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The answer is no. Having a close guy friend has more benefits than any potential uncomfortableness that may be brought on by two close friends hanging out alone. Not to mention that most of the time, they’re more like a brother than any kind of potential hook-up, the prospect of which makes you actually want to vom.

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The Ed Sheeran to your Taylor Swift, the Harry Potter to your Hermione Granger, you’re there for them through thick and thin, with the added bonus of giving insight to the often-confusing female perspective and none of the jealousy. They’re a great balance to have in a world surrounded by sometimes catty, passive aggressive female friends; here’s why:

18. Once you’re in the inner circle, guys will open up around you with their ridiculous, raunchy, crude humor… and it’s hilarious.

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17. Their jackets are warm, more comfy, and essentially up for grabs at all times.

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16. Their perspective is invaluable because they know how boys think in all situations. (As is yours when they’re wondering whether their GF is being crazy).

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15. Boys have limited drama.

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14. They’re a perfect cover when you’re trying to duck the creepy guy at the bar.

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13. They’re protective over you like you are their actual sisters.

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Why You Should Be Cutting Out The Bad Friend

Call this a blog post. Call it a PSA. Call it an article on the ins-and-outs of friendship.

Whatever you see it as, call it a message that needs to be HEARD.

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I have one particular issue that people around their mid-twenties (girls, especially) seem to continuously encounter, whether it hurt you in the past, bothers you daily, or keeps popping up in your life like a flower you’re allergic to. This rant is on the issue of cutting off friendships.

We all have that one friend, usually from high school or college, who you were just BESTIES with. You did everything together, the Bert to your Ernie without all the rubber ducky mumbo-jumbo (or perhaps even with it, after a night of tequila shots and childhood reminiscence- we’re not here to judge.)

rubber duckie

 

You were inseparable. You were sisters. You were each other’s secret keepers, confidants, and best friends. And when graduation came, you promised each other that nothing would change, you pinky-swore to the sky that your friendship, solid as diamond, would remain intact.

Well, kids… people grow up. Jobs happen, marriage happens, babies, new cars, more degrees, other friends, addictions, illnesses, new hobbies—they HAPPEN. And one day, two years or ten years after graduation, you wake up and realize the solid friendship you once cherished has crumbled.

This is when it’s time to take a good look at your life and evaluate who deserves to be in it.

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Now, listen.

There are two kinds of people in every relationship.

myself and hummuss

 

I’m talking about the leader and the follower. The one who tries and the one who complies. The top-tier and second-tier. There is always, in every relationship ever established, a person who cares more than the other. And you my friend, if you are reading this article, are probably on the side of the follower. The trier. The second-tier. (Sorry to break it to you.)

Why else would you have clicked on a ramble-rant about letting go of the dead-end friendship?

It’s okay, though. These types of people are the ones who have many friends because they excel in keeping friendships afloat. You’re exceptionally good at planning and getting people to open up about their feelings. You’re the comfort friend- and that’s a good thing.

friend family

 

What’s not okay is when your efforts are unappreciated and unnoticed. Now, admittedly, I’ve been both of these types of people. I’ve been strung along by someone I called my best friend, spending years putting in effort where it wasn’t appreciated or acknowledged and got my heart broke time and time again from it AND I have, admittedly, been the friend who keeps a person around simply because I’m too nice to say ‘hey- this was fun. But we had our run. See you around!’ to someone’s face.

Consequently, you either get hurt or hurt other people when you are in either of these positions. This is why you should CUT IT OFF NOW.

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Think of the person you’re spending all your time and energy caring about- the one whom you pictured when you read the title of this article. YOU ask about their life, YOU invest your time and effort into their problems, YOU go out of your way to see and love them because YOU are a good friend.

Now do yourself a favor and cut the dead weight of a long-gone friendship away from your positive well-being and LET IT GO.

waving

 

This will be hard.

Yes, you will have memories you cherish. YES, you might see each other around or at gatherings years from now- yes, you will reminisce. I’m not saying you have to tell them everything you hate about them and leave the scene a bloodbath. I’m not saying that not being close now invalidates the friendship you once had, either.

What I am saying is… now? Now, you’re upset because you’re not the way you guys once were. You’re not putting in equal effort, you’re not feeling the same sentiment about each other that you once did. You’re a shadow of your former selves, holding onto them because they remind you of a part of the past you love, not because of how they positively lift you up, now.

never forget

 

This is damaging for multiple reasons, but the forefront of them is the simple fact that YOU are holding onto something and someone who simply doesn’t want you to grip them so tightly anymore and that realization is PAINFUL. It hurts and it’s hard, but that’s what it is.

And you’re worth more than that. We all are. Life is short and adventurous and messy and sporadic and dammit, it’s hard enough without having to put in effort where effort is certainly not deserved.

happy

 

In the long run, you will be happier. What’s the quote about being precious with your time? Be fiercely protective over it. Be very selective about who you spend it on because it is a finite amount that you will never be able to find more of. This is an attitude I’m trying to put forth in my everyday and you should, too. Be better than a person who lets other people take their time and effort and concentration from them. Make sure you’re a priority in the lives of those you care about. Spend your moments on people who make you feel like you MATTER because you do.

I know I’m going to.

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10 Reasons To Love Being Disaffiliated For Recruitment

At my school, we’re Rho Gammas. Every campus has a different name for us, but every group does the same thing: we take off our letters to help you find yours. Wether you’re a recruitment counselor or a member of Panhel Exec board, it can be hard (and kind of sad) to be separated from your sisters, at least publicly. Luckily, there are some perks.

10. MORE T-SHIRTS


Since we can’t wear the plethora of shirts we have with our own chapter on them, being disaffiliated kind of eliminates your entire wardrobe. So, we obviously have to do an order of shirts that say Rho Gamma, or Pi Chi, or whatever on them. Right?

9. Getting to know other disaffiliated girls.


If your group is paired with the group of a girl you barely know, you’re about to spend 45 minutes eating food and sitting in a stranger’s bedroom with said girl. Chances are you’re gonna find something to talk and laugh about. The next time you see her on campus, you both smile and say hello and maybe make plans to grab coffee. And isn’t that what being a Greek woman is all about?

8. Getting the inside scoop.


As their recruitment counselor, the PNMs come to you with tough decisions. If they’re torn between to houses, you know about it. And you, with your infinite wisdom, get to help them figure out which one fits them better. You also know which girls become horrible and catty the second they step out of the houses.

7. Recruitment Week is a lot less stressful for us.


The week leading up to recruitment? That pretty much sucks. But we don’t have the pressure of impressing the girls, following your Recruitment Chair’s dress code, asking the right questions, and making sure you’re perfectly Panhellenic. We just have to put them in alphabetical order and hold their shit. Boom.

6. The questions.


The PNMs want nothing more than to figure out our affiliation. They will ask and guess and try to stalk our social media through its airtight security (thanks, Panhel). It’s fun to hear their guesses. It’s also fun to try and trick them. It’s even more fun when they figure out they get to be your sister.

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12 Reasons We Still Love High School Musical

Hey, Wildcats. How old do you feel knowing that it’s the ten year anniversary of High School Musical? I know I feel ancient. But somehow, we all still know every song, still watch the movies, and still retweet HSM themed memes on twitter. We all even paid to go see the third one in theaters. How did they get us so hooked? Did they know they were making a classic?

12. Troy and Gabriella are goals.


T as in Troy?? As annoying as they could be when they inevitably sang a {beautiful} break up song, they were the cutest couple ever. They withstood so much, from their friends sabotaging them to going off to different colleges.

11. We were all highkey jealous of Sharpay.


All that pink? People literally parting ways when you walk in the room? A literal monogramed car? I wanted to be Sharpay more than anything. And was she even that evil? I think not. She was just driven.

10. We still want to know if Ryan was gay.


They kept trying to ship him off with Kelsey, but no one I know bought that lie. It’s okay, Disney. Even as a 10 year old, I understood what it meant when a man wore that tight of pants.

9. The music is amazing.


Don’t lie to me. You still sing The Start of Something New every chance you get. We all got our heads in the game more times than we’re proud of. It’s okay.

8. Coach Bolton


What an awkward, dorky little man. But such a classic Disney father figure. “I’m not giving up MY dream, Dad. I’m giving up yours.” Beautiful.

7. Zeke’s baking.


Man, they gave him so much crap for liking something so normal. But with his mad baking skills, Zeke has won hearts, landed jobs, and made us all love him.

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Daily Thoughts That Do Not Make You a Bad Person

As a college student, I find myself thinking some pretty strange and pretty terrible things on a daily basis. Sometimes these thoughts become words, but most of the time I question my sanity for thinking them and move on. While they might be some bad thoughts, I am not a bad person, and thinking/saying these don’t automatically make you bad. There are somethings that happen that deserve some pretty bad thoughts.

Here’s a list of thoughts most people have daily that aren’t as bad as you think:

10) I hate everyone.

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You may just be having a bad day, you might hate like 3 people so it is just easier to generalize. Its totally okay to hate everyone.

9) Everyone just needs to STFU.

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Again you’re probably having a terrible day, and there’s that stupid group of people yelling in the library as loud as possible. While you’re not a bad person, you’re probably a hungover person. Make sure you stay hydrated while telling people to pipe down.

8) Stop talking to me.

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Along with STFU, its just one of those days, you just want to be left alone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Don’t feel bad for keeping your head down, and quickly walking back to your room.

7) I would sacrifice you for a coffee. 

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That magic time of the morning before you had your coffee. You shouldn’t be expected to be nice, especially when someone is just down right too much. Its normal to want to sacrifice someone for coffee. You need the nectar of life, and are willing to do anything for it. Alright this one might just be me…

6) Can the proffessor just cancel class today?

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I get it, I paid a disgusting amount of money to attend class every day, but like, can’t he just take a day off? Really? Doesn’t he understand the need for me to lay in bed all day because I got too drunk last night?

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A Goodbye to My Past Self

Dear Past Self,
Thank you for everything.  You have given me many wonderful memories and carried me through a lot of rough times.  You have been with me for many years now but unfortunately it is now time to say goodbye to you and everything that you represent to me.
For a while you were all that I had.  Growing up I relied on you for everything and you were always there.  I counted on you to bring me up when I was sad and to encourage me to reach further than I thought that I could.  And that was good enough for then but now it is time to move on.
You stayed strong for a long time through all of the stress I put you through but over this past year I have felt you breaking down.  I know I didn’t make it easy.  I had many negative thoughts, I brought people into our life that brought us down and I severely overworked us.  I am sorry for that and I thank you for staying with me.  But I know you are tired of struggling through.
goodbye
However, even more important, you kept me positive and strong enough to create this new person for myself.  You brought me to this place where I can finally let you go.  I can say goodbye to you and goodbye to all of my old insecurities.  I can leave behind my doubts about myself and forget the mistakes that I have made.  I can take down the limits and the barriers that I have set for myself and develop as a person.
So I say goodbye to you, my past self.  I thank you for bringing me to this new chapter in my life but its time that I move past the person that I once was and become someone new.  I hope to become a more confident and happy version of you.  I want to learn to relax and not take everything so seriously.  By letting you go, I will finally be able to grow.
You will always remain with me but its time for me to move on without you.
Me
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What Your Favorite Holiday Says About You

Arguably, there are eight major holidays that people tend to consider their favorites. This is what the world thinks when you say the following:

8. If Your Favorite Holiday is… New Years Eve:

You’re all about beginnings and potential as you are probably a really positive person. You take genuine delight from the magic New Years brings with the chance at starting over. You’re a list maker and goal-setter… and probably look fantastic in a sparkly dress.

new years

7. If Your Favorite Holiday is… Valentine’s Day

The only thing you love more than being in love is the idea of love itself. You burst with affection for everyone in your life, and you show it most on Valentines Day. Your favorite color is warm… pink, red, maybe even orange. You have an acquired taste for those little chalk-flavored hearts with cute sayings on them… and probably look fantastic in lipstick.

valentines

6. If Your Favorite Holiday is… St. Patrick’s Day

You like to get drunk… a lot. But that’s okay because what else do people do on St. Patrick’s Day (which you probably affectionately refer to as St. Patty’s)? You most likely have Irish in your bloodline, which makes the holiday that much more exciting because you can claim it for your own. And as for wardrobe? You wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything but green on this holiday… head-to-toe.

Bonus: Definitely check out the St. Patty’s celebrations in Savannah and Chicago… there’s nothing like it.

st pattys

5. If Your Favorite Holiday is… Easter

If your favorite holiday is Easter, chances are, you’re incredibly family oriented… because Easter is typically a family holiday. You probably go to church fairly often and genuinely enjoy spending time with your extended relatives, who are all super close with each other. You love the fluffy marshmallow taste of peeps and finding easter eggs in the yard (even at this age). It is likely that your favorite season is spring and you look adorable in pastel… which comes in handy this time of year.

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Thoughts When Paying Dues

So, it’s that time again… chapter dues are posted.

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You’ve been dodging your Big’s ‘pay your sh*t’ texts all week and the last day has finally caught up to you.

mom

You look at your ‘payment due’ and lament the fact that you took the high road and offered to pay your own way through your sorority.

desk

You briefly wonder whether your pride is worth it… maybe you should just call Dad?

Dad

No. NO. You’re a strong, independent woman and you can DO THIS.

Beyonce

Carefully, you open the details of your transactions. You read the outlandish charges on your account and begin the inner war with your past self.

hiding

DAMMIT T-SHIRTS! YOU GET ME EVERY TIME!

ross

I mean did I REALLY need all those date shirts? He wasn’t even that much fun.

Plus, he ended up acting like a drunken fool and I had help him walk. It was like aiding a baby giraffe.

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You swear to yourself that you will never purchase another date shirt again… though, even in this moment, you know it’s a lie.

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Red Flags of a One Night Stand

College is all a learning experience.  Throughout your four years you will meet new people, lose old friends and develop new relationships.  For many people, a new type of relationship, and one of the shortest you will find, will form and this is the one night stand.  Whether you met him at a bar or he’s the cute guy from last semester’s history class, your relationship will only last you until the next morning when you can walk, heels in hand back to your room at 6am.  However, not everyone is always on the same page with this casual hookup.  So to keep things from ending poorly, here is a list of red flags for your next one night stand:
10. You have to be quiet because his mom is home- Now he deserves the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe he is just trying to save some money on rent but you do not want to wake up in the morning to his mom cooking you breakfast and asking what your intentions with her son are.
mother
9. He has a picture with his girlfriend next to his bed- Although it is just a one night stand, you really do not want to be the other woman.  While you may not owe her anything, the risk of the girlfriend calling him is enough to cause way too much stress.  You do not need that on your conscience.
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8. He tells you he is a virgin-  More power to him, he has waited to have sex and that is something most people don’t have the self control to do.  However, you do not want to be the one to take his virginity during a one night long relationship.  You don’t want the risk of making it more than it is.
virgin
7. He takes you to his car, not a house- Maybe he is down on his luck and that is completely understandable.  But you do not want to be caught hooking up in a car with a stranger and certainly you are both too drunk to drive the car anywhere secluded.  At the end of the day, not a good idea.
car
6. He has to tuck his kids into bed first- Good for him, he is clearly a very good looking older man and can pick up a younger girl.  However, he is clearly at a VERY different stage in his life than you are.  Plus you have no idea if his ex is crazy and you do not want to risk that.
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The Life of a College Student Told By Meghan Trainor

Meghan Trainor sings my life. There are plenty of songs out there about love and parties, but only Meghan Trainor sings about the true college struggles of texting your ex at 3am and those boys who will just not make it official.  So here are all of the things you wish you could say to people in your life in the wise words of Meghan Trainor:
14. “We know that shit ain’t real, come on now, make it stop” to all those you later realized are not real friends.
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13. “So don’t you let their words try to change you Don’t let them make you, into something you ain’t…” to your friend who cares a little too much about what people think.
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12. “I’m sure he’s worth a lot of gold But you’re better than you know And he’s no good for you” to your friend who always seems to be dating an asshole.
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11. “I got a head full of melodies stuck in my brain” to your teacher when you are trying to explain why you don’t focus in class.
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10. “Kinda stressing like I’m gonna have a heart attack it’s Been an hour and you haven’t even hit me back” to the people who don’t answer your texts immediately.
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9. “Of course I like you Can’t you hear it in my voice?” to the oblivious boy that you have been flirting with for months and still doesn’t seem to get it.
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8. “You gotta know how to treat me like a lady Even when I’m acting crazy Tell me everything’s alright” to anyone looking to date me, sorry I’m crazy.
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Why Anna Kendrick Is Every Girl’s Spirit Animal

Anna Kendrick is the awkward funny best friend every girl wants to be.

20. And not just cause she’s totally flawless

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19. But also because she’s full of hilarity

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18. We love her awkward selfies

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17. And straight-faced comedy

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16. She says what the world’s really thinking

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15. No seriously, no topic is off limits.

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14. Speaking of, her Twitter makes us LAUGH

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13. BRB, laughing forever

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12. She classily avoided the whole ‘Celeb-Cell-Phone-Hacking Thing’

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11. And as a bonus, she’s in the best movie franchise EVER

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An Open Letter to the Friendship That Faded Away.

Hey there.

I just want to start with an apology. I’m sorry that we fell apart. I’m sorry that our dreams of conquering the world together never came true. In high school, we were inseparable. No one said one of our names without the other, and I never could have imagined that ending.

I think we both need to hold ourselves accountable. We both stopped trying, or we would still be close. If we really wanted to stay in each other’s lives, it would have happened. So, again, I’m sorry I gave up. There was a time when you meant more to me than anything, and somehow that went away.

But at the same time, I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for the times I made you laugh so hard you cried. I’m not sorry for doing ridiculous makeovers and taking way too many pictures. I’m not sorry for the “firsts” we experienced together.

I also need to thank you. Thank you for listening to me talk about my silly high school boy problems. Thank you for sharing your family with me (tell your mom I miss her spaghetti terribly). Thank you for having study dates with me so that we could pass those horrible senior English tests. Thank you for watching little kids shows with me in the middle of the night. Thank you for letting me be the godmother of your puppy. Thank you for pushing me to be my best for the entirety of our friendship.

And thank you for giving up on us. I mean it. Thank you for letting me start college fresh, make new friends, and not feel guilty for leaving you behind. Thank you for letting me start a new chapter of my life, even if it was a chapter I always imagined you’d be in. Thank you for showing me that I can stand on my own two feet, even if I stumble at first. Thank you for starting your own new chapter with your own new friends, so I can still keep up with you on instagram.

Thank you for always texting me about getting coffee. Thank you for still reaching out even if we can’t always make time for each other. Thank you for remembering my birthday. Thank you for sending me a snapchat when you see something that reminds you of me.

I still love you more than you know. I will forever be grateful for all you gave me. You are still with me, like a handprint on my heart.

-Your Ra

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