We have all felt some degree of shame at one point in our life and no one can deny that. Whether it was from overeating one night by yourself or because you gave into your hottie of a crush just because your girls said “YOLO!” Yesterday we all partook in the most stuffing day of the year; I am speaking of good ole Thanksgiving. The only day that it is acceptable to wear sweat pants or anything that grows with your stomach to the dinner table. We indulged in all the goods and we feel great until the morning after. You can compare the day after Thanksgiving closely to the walk of shame and everybody knows these stages…
Whether you are feeling like poo poo from overdosing on food or too much of your favorite apple tinis that the bartender kept coming your way, it is automatically the worst feeling you have experienced. Your head is pounding, the light is too bright, your stomach is bloated, and you don’t want to hear one word about last night. They tell us that if we indulge in too much good then all there is left for us to feel and to deal with is the bad. You literally just want it all to pass so you don’t have to feel like a failure at life.
The actual walk
When you realize that you have to leave your hookup’s apartment in order to get back to home base; you realize that you have to look the rest of humanity in the eyes and own up to what you did or did not do last night. While you are walking to your car, apartment, or your dorm you swear that it always takes you five minuets to get from point A to point B. Unfortunately to you it feels like the longest twenty minuets of your life. You’re asking yourself why could it possibly feel like eternity? Well for one you’re hung over and two your butt is tired as all get out from the festivities that kept you up all night. The walk of shame for Thanksgiving is when you finally get up and talk yourself into working out with all the intentions of you possibly feeling better afterwards. So you start running down the street when you suddenly feel like you’re in a time warped episode of SpongeBob and you’re steadily running in place and not going anywhere. You’re out of breath, sweating more than usual, and you are sadly only half way up the road but you still need to make it around the neighborhood so you don’t feel like such a fatty for the marathon of eating you indulged in last night.
Dear ex-hookups, ex-boyfriends, and ex-“whatever you wanted to call our situation”s,
I’m not here to tell you how much of a jerk you were. I’m not here to tell you how much you hurt me. I’m not here to ask why everything happened the way it did between us. I’m here to thank you. Yeah, sounds weird I know. But I want to thank you for everything you put me through. Through the tears from the inside jokes we shared, to the tears from the lies you told, they made me who I am today. What I experienced during my time with you made me look at relationships in a whole new light. You taught me how to treat someone in a relationship. Sometimes, I put too much in and got nothing out. Sometimes, I put nothing in and got too much out. You helped me find that balance where I know I need to take a step back or one forward. I realized that I shouldn’t put my significant other first. Yeah, it may sound selfish but how can I better someone else if I don’t know how to better myself?
Okay I’ll admit, everything that happened between us was partially my fault. But, we’re young. We’re allowed to make mistakes. The first person you date isn’t the one you’re bound to be with for the rest of your life (unless you’re that lucky one in a million….then in that case, congrats). We were made to date different people, find the type of personalities we click with best, and the ones that we don’t. If you cheated, lied, or didn’t treat me right, I’m not taking it personally. I’m not going to hate you forever. We are learning how to love someone else while still trying to figure who we want to be.
Not only have you helped me learn how to treat others, you’ve helped me learn how to treat myself. I realized how I do and don’t want to be treated. Late night booty calls and drunk hookups are cool and all but at some point you grow out of that stage. When I realized I never found a guy that wanted more than a late night “Netflix and chill”, I realized I was looking in the wrong place. If I wanted a book-smart and clean-cut guy, I wouldn’t find him at the local frat house doing a keg stand on a Tuesday night. Or if I wanted an adventurous guy I wouldn’t find him staying in on a Friday night.
I’ve learned a lot from the ups and downs of dating the field, but the most important thing is nothing should be looked at as a regret. As cliche as it sounds, everything happens for a reason. We learn new things about ourselves and others from getting to know different types of people. So don’t stress when your babe of a boy dumps you or you find out you hooked up with a 4 at the bar last night…. Prince charming is still out there, we just have to get through all the f*ckboys to find him.