Clearly, I would cry a shit ton, sub-tweet the heck out of him, and listen to sad Taylor Swift songs like any girl would, but I would also immediately do these 10 things to help me cope and get back into the single life groove.
10. Burn everything. From his sister’s heels she let me borrow to his favorite hoodie… all up in flames along with the pictures I violently ripped off the wall. And his go pro he lent me for my sorority recruitment video.
9. Make a Tinder. Not only will it boost my confidence (hopefully, ha), it will introduce me to all the boys I’ve shrugged off at parties because of my ex.
8. Get a hobby. In a perfect world I’d just become a gym rat, but I love quesadillas and ramen noodles way too much. I’ll start scrapbooking or something instead of calling my boyfriend 50 times a day.
7. Save money. Not only are you no longer spending money on gifts and dates, now you have the option of flirting with guys so they buy you free drinks without feeling guilty about it.
6. Change my sheets. I don’t want to think of what happened in them. Burning the old ones.
I’m guilty, you’re guilty, we’re all guilty. Who cares if we fib a little bit, as long as we’re drunk and happy, right?
10. “I’m not that drunk.” She says as she trips over her own feet and spills her shot.
9. “I’M SO DRUNK.” She says as she holds the same vodka cranberry she was holding 2 hours ago.
8. “I SnapChat-ted him by accident.” She says as he opens the 17th snap of the night without responding.
7. “I love being single.” She says as she swipes through Tinder between sips of her margarita.
6. “I haven’t had Taco Bell in forever.” She says as she pulls a Taco Bell receipt out of her purse while looking for her lipstick.
The word “f*ckboy” has many definitions. There are many words that describe this term, such as womanizer or player, but no matter what you call them…they are the worst! I have talked to many different girls at different schools and we have come to a consensus on the top 11 characteristics of f*ckboys, so ladies beware!
11. They Lead You On
As soon as you hear a guy say, “I don’t believe in labels,” run! This is a tell tale sign that you have found yourself a f*ckboy.
Many girls I’ve talked to say that some guys will have Snapchat “conversations” with them for hours on end, but as soon as you text them there is radio silence.
I have seen this too many times to count.
A few weeks ago I was in an elevator and three guys walked in with Starbucks cups. Another person in the elevator kind of gave them a look and they immediately said, “Oh this is for my girlfriend.” Please just admit it. It’s okay if you like Pumpkin Spice Lattes.