The show Bob’s Burgers, much like your drunken escapades, is a cacophony of hilarious mishaps between people who love each other, set for the purpose of having a great story to tell. The correlation is undeniable- so why not use it represent your next night out?
These are the 10 Stages of Being Drunk… As Told By Bob’s Burgers.
10. When You’re Planning Your Night of Debauchery
9. When You Take The First Drink
8. When You Feel That Slight Buzz
7. When You Burst Into Silly Drunk Mode
6. When Drunk You Becomes Everyone’s Best Friend
It’s no secret that drinking isn’t exactly scarce on college campuses across the nation. Some might even deem it as just another part of the “college experience”. That being said, I am in the middle of my second year of college and have never had a drink in my entire life. I was focused on school and sports in high school and never felt the need to drink. Similarly, I had formed an idea in my head that underage drinking was something that only “bad” kids did; I have since come to figure out that this isn’t necessarily the case.
That being said, this isn’t an article bashing those who drink; I no longer have any problems with those who drink, that is the individual’s prerogative. I just won’t be doing the same and I expect others to be okay with that decision. I have come to realize that I am a rare breed, not entirely alone, but not in the majority by a long shot. I would, however, still categorize myself as a typical college student. I go to class, I eat in the dining hall, I’m in a sorority, and I binge-watch Friends when procrastinating studying for exams.
At Worcester Polytechnic Institute, studying abroad is as common as being an engineer (almost everyone does it). But that doesn’t prepare you for the moment your best friend says good bye for seven weeks. The moment she boards a plane to a different country.
Dear Best Friend,
Its been great here without you. And by great I mean terrible. And by terrible I mean different. When I’m bored and want someone to adventure with I actually have to think about who I’m going to call, and when I was stressed during recruitment I had to actual talk to different people. I can’t believe you would just leave and force me to talk to other people! Its been hard. Not having you always on the other side of the phone when I’m texting is strange. Just because its 4am where you are doesn’t give you a reason to stop responding to my texts. And who am I supposed to borrow all my clothes from? My closet has significantly shrunk you brat!
Although I’m having a rough time, I hope you are having the time of your life!!! Now is the time for you to go out and party! Forget that stupid boy that screwed you over here and enjoy all the exotic men around Europe. Don’t forget to send me tons of Snapchats though! I need to be able to live vicariously through you if I’m going to survive this term without you.
Please travel anywhere you can. If not for the experience of traveling, then for the amazing profile picture options you will have for the rest of your life. And while taking all of these amazing picture, don’t forget to put the phone down and take it all in. Remember how small you are in this world, but how large of an impact you can make on it. You are amazing, and can change this world if you put your mind to it. Never forget it.
I can’t wait till you’re back home and I can force my love on you again. Just be ready for the amount of girl time I’m going to make happen. I mean obviously I’ll make it seem like I’m super cool and calm and don’t care, but just know inside I’m freaking out with happiness. I may or may not have been whimpering every day you’ve been gone, and I may or may not have almost cried a few times, but if you tell anyone I’ll kill you. <3
Enjoy your time! This is a once in a life time opportunity! And just be warned that you’ll feel the exact same way when I’m gone in the spring.
Your best friend!
It actually happened… you’re alone. You’re usually so careful to fill each little nick of your time with activities that even if you have to focus on a task alone, at least there’s something to do. But now, you and your perky, outgoing attitude have no one to chatter to about the goings-on of the day.
You have to spend a whole HOUR by yourself, waiting for a friend to show up… try not to go a little stir crazy.
You’ll start by telling yourself it’ll be FINE. Exciting even! You’ve done this before; you can be the CHAMPION of alone time.
“Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”
When Cyndi Lauper released the epic dance ballad “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” I was still 11 years away from being created. I danced to the song in my first grade talent show with a group of girl friends. We dressed up in our favorite outfits and pathetically danced around on our elementary school stage. Despite the lack of talent (which is not uncommon in elementary school talent shows) I had the time of my life dancing to what continues to be my anthem.
Lauper put it plain and simple: girls just wanna have fun. But why is that the case? Allow me to elaborate.
10.) Because we are only young once, duh.
9.) Because we want a funny story to tell at our classy dinner parties in the future.
Ego Trip Land
8.) Because blowing off steam is the best way to de-stress
We Heart It
7.) Because we like to dance on elevated surfaces, which always is a safe guarantee for a good time.
The Odyssey Online
6.) Because when guys are acting stupid we like to go out and have a blast to forget about them.
5.) Because the odds are if you are having fun then you will have a sick Instagram to post later.
4.) Because nobody ever had a life-changing night when they went to bed early.
3.) Because we can find entertainment in almost everything we do.
2.) Because when you are the life of the party, it is hard to not always have a great time, even if you’re just, like, brushing your teeth or doing your laundry.
1.) Because who the hell doesn’t want to have fun?