The 18 Stages of Having An Annoying Uber Driver

Some Uber drivers are the coolest, chillest people you will ever meet, but some Uber drivers are clearly the mayor of Creepsville. Some Uber drivers leave you wishing you had just stayed home and stared at the wall rather than get yourself into a situation where you needed to call some stranger to come drive you home. These are the 18 stages of having an annoying Uber driver:

 


 

(18.) It’s Saturday night, the feeling was right, and you did what you always end up doing— getting blackout drunk. 

 

(17.) You finally accept that you’re maybe not sober enough to drive yourself home, and you’ve seen enough Lifetime movies to know that trying to drive drunk never turns out well, so you turn to your last resort – Uber.

 

(16.) After the longest five minutes of your life, you finally get a text that your Uber driver has arrived.

 

(15.) The text says your Uber driver has arrived in a black car, but when you look around, there are like fifty black cars, so you try to discreetly peek into all the windows, looking for anyone who looks remotely Uber-driver-ish. 

 

(14.) Your uber driver will finally get tired of watching you stumble around like an idiot and roll his window down to let you know which car is his.

 

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The 17 Stages Of Getting Your Body “Summer Ready”

Every girl in the world has gone through the last minute panic when she realizes that summer is a month or two away, and she’s no closer to looking like a Victoria Secret model than she was last year. How are you ever going to wrack up the Instagram likes if your body is more “Fat Amy” than it is “Kendall Jenner”? Here are the 17 stages every girl goes through in an attempt to get her “summer body”:

 


17.) You accidentally open the Snapchat camera in Selfie-mode, catching a glimpse of your one-too-many double chins.

 

16.) With the summer season rapidly approaching, which means endless beach days and bikinis, you decide you should probably start working on your “summer body”. How hard could losing a few pounds possible be?

 

15.) You consider your options. Working out is something that people are, like, supposed to do, right? You should probably start jogging, or at least start taking the stairs? #BabySteps

 

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10 Hacks For Living a Healthier Life

Ugh, HEALTHY. That word, alone, sounds like a one-way ticket to boredom. The issue is, hate it or love it, learning to live healthily is a necessity, especially as you enter your mid-twenties.

its hard

 

TOO BAD. You can’t live off pizza and beer forever.

I hear you though… starting the journey to good health is one that usually begins with most millennials kicking and screaming for their old, comforting bad habits. Here are ten tips that might make the transition a little easier.

mindy

 

10. Work out
Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Clearly, working out is almost everyone’s least favorite thing to do… but that doesn’t mean it isn’t necessary. If only to be used as stress relief and not for the sake of internal health, getting your butt in the gym is proven to help with anxiety, sleep cycles, and digestion, amongst other things. Also, gym prices range from expensive-as-balls to less-than-a-large-pizza, so pick the one that’s right for you.

fitness

 

9. Meal Prep
This is a FANTASTIC for your budget and even better for your body. Meal prepping is the simple act of grabbing a basket full of healthy food once a week, preparing it for the remaining 6 days… and STICKING TO EATING IT (probably the hardest part. Day 6 grilled chicken is hard to swallow).

meal

 

8. Make Morning Smoothies
Good for starting your day because it’s fruit + protein + dairy + veggies. Better because it’s delicious and easy to make for those too lazy in the mornings to scramble up an egg (like myself). Try some recipes here.

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7. Find a Good Multivitamin
Seems obvious, right? But you would be surprised at the insurmountable number of stubborn people who don’t take a daily vitamin (ahem… guilty). Nutritional value aside, therapists have deduced that vitamin insufficiency can be attributed as a potentially underlying cause for anxiety and depression.

So, in short, pop your happy pills, mmkay?

vitamin

 

6. Drink An F- Ton of Water
How much is an F-ton, you ask? About 2 liters. Effective for losing weight and keeping yourself alert and energized. Also, try flavoring it naturally with fruit infused water; some recipes can be found here.

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10 Things Every UCF Freshman Should Know

So you got into UCF? Congrats! These will be some of the best years of your life. But before you jump right in, here are some things you definitely need to know:

 

10.) Parking is literally hell.

UCF is one of the largest universities in the nation. We have about 60 thousand students currently enrolled. Unfortunately… the parking does not reflect that. If you’re a commuter, prepare to get to campus an hour early so that you can maybe make it to class on time.

 

9.) The squirrels are insane.

Almost every student has a UCF squirrel story. The squirrels are a strange mix of rabid and overly friendly, so most students just avoid them altogether.

 

8.) Don’t miss out on the school’s traditions.

Spirit Splash is one of the coolest traditions out of any college in the country. Almost every single person goes, so don’t be the one lame friend who slept through it. You’ll regret it for the rest of the year if you do.

 

7.) The shuttles take forever.

Just like the parking, if you want to have a shot at getting to your class on time, take the shuttles to campus at least an hour in advance. The shuttles are supposed to be on a strict schedule, but more often than not they come and go as they please.

 

6.) Get involved.

UCF is a big place. It’s easy to feel lost or lonely, especially if you’re new. The best way to make the big college a smaller world is to get involved with a club that interests you. Greek life, Republican or Democrats clubs, clubs for your major, or even clubs for people who love to take naps— whatever your interest is, there’s probably a club for it.

 

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Why You Should Be Cutting Out The Bad Friend

Call this a blog post. Call it a PSA. Call it an article on the ins-and-outs of friendship.

Whatever you see it as, call it a message that needs to be HEARD.

attention

 

I have one particular issue that people around their mid-twenties (girls, especially) seem to continuously encounter, whether it hurt you in the past, bothers you daily, or keeps popping up in your life like a flower you’re allergic to. This rant is on the issue of cutting off friendships.

We all have that one friend, usually from high school or college, who you were just BESTIES with. You did everything together, the Bert to your Ernie without all the rubber ducky mumbo-jumbo (or perhaps even with it, after a night of tequila shots and childhood reminiscence- we’re not here to judge.)

rubber duckie

 

You were inseparable. You were sisters. You were each other’s secret keepers, confidants, and best friends. And when graduation came, you promised each other that nothing would change, you pinky-swore to the sky that your friendship, solid as diamond, would remain intact.

Well, kids… people grow up. Jobs happen, marriage happens, babies, new cars, more degrees, other friends, addictions, illnesses, new hobbies—they HAPPEN. And one day, two years or ten years after graduation, you wake up and realize the solid friendship you once cherished has crumbled.

This is when it’s time to take a good look at your life and evaluate who deserves to be in it.

change

 

Now, listen.

There are two kinds of people in every relationship.

myself and hummuss

 

I’m talking about the leader and the follower. The one who tries and the one who complies. The top-tier and second-tier. There is always, in every relationship ever established, a person who cares more than the other. And you my friend, if you are reading this article, are probably on the side of the follower. The trier. The second-tier. (Sorry to break it to you.)

Why else would you have clicked on a ramble-rant about letting go of the dead-end friendship?

It’s okay, though. These types of people are the ones who have many friends because they excel in keeping friendships afloat. You’re exceptionally good at planning and getting people to open up about their feelings. You’re the comfort friend- and that’s a good thing.

friend family

 

What’s not okay is when your efforts are unappreciated and unnoticed. Now, admittedly, I’ve been both of these types of people. I’ve been strung along by someone I called my best friend, spending years putting in effort where it wasn’t appreciated or acknowledged and got my heart broke time and time again from it AND I have, admittedly, been the friend who keeps a person around simply because I’m too nice to say ‘hey- this was fun. But we had our run. See you around!’ to someone’s face.

Consequently, you either get hurt or hurt other people when you are in either of these positions. This is why you should CUT IT OFF NOW.

snip

 

Think of the person you’re spending all your time and energy caring about- the one whom you pictured when you read the title of this article. YOU ask about their life, YOU invest your time and effort into their problems, YOU go out of your way to see and love them because YOU are a good friend.

Now do yourself a favor and cut the dead weight of a long-gone friendship away from your positive well-being and LET IT GO.

waving

 

This will be hard.

Yes, you will have memories you cherish. YES, you might see each other around or at gatherings years from now- yes, you will reminisce. I’m not saying you have to tell them everything you hate about them and leave the scene a bloodbath. I’m not saying that not being close now invalidates the friendship you once had, either.

What I am saying is… now? Now, you’re upset because you’re not the way you guys once were. You’re not putting in equal effort, you’re not feeling the same sentiment about each other that you once did. You’re a shadow of your former selves, holding onto them because they remind you of a part of the past you love, not because of how they positively lift you up, now.

never forget

 

This is damaging for multiple reasons, but the forefront of them is the simple fact that YOU are holding onto something and someone who simply doesn’t want you to grip them so tightly anymore and that realization is PAINFUL. It hurts and it’s hard, but that’s what it is.

And you’re worth more than that. We all are. Life is short and adventurous and messy and sporadic and dammit, it’s hard enough without having to put in effort where effort is certainly not deserved.

happy

 

In the long run, you will be happier. What’s the quote about being precious with your time? Be fiercely protective over it. Be very selective about who you spend it on because it is a finite amount that you will never be able to find more of. This is an attitude I’m trying to put forth in my everyday and you should, too. Be better than a person who lets other people take their time and effort and concentration from them. Make sure you’re a priority in the lives of those you care about. Spend your moments on people who make you feel like you MATTER because you do.

I know I’m going to.

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18 Thoughts You Have After Binge-Watching Netflix All Day

We’ve all done it. You have a million different things you absolutely MUST get done. But instead of dealing with all of your responsibilities, you push them off to the next day and turn on the TV to your Netflix. Life of a procrastinator. But sometimes when we have so many things going on and we’re super stressed out, we just need a break. A distraction. We need to just lay on the couch with our bag of chips and binge-watch 24 episodes of some show about vampires all day. It makes us feel better at the time. But then after we realize what we’ve done, we find ourselves questioning just what we are doing with our lives. Don’t freak out. We all do it. We all survive it. But here are some crazy thoughts that go through our heads right after we commit the “Netflix sin.”

18. wow what time is it?

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17. No way, my clocks not right.

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16. OMG IT REALLY IS 11:42pm.

shailene-woodley-omg

15. how did it get that late???

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14. I can’t believe I’ve really been laying here ALL day.

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13. I had so much stuff I NEEDED to do.

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12. I thought I had only watched a few episodes..

little-bit

11. But one would end and then another would start..

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10. I didn’t even have a chance to realize what was happening.

unintentional

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College Life As Told by 90s Cartoons

If you’re currently in college, there’s a pretty good chance you grew up watching these cartoons from the 90s and early 2000s. You might be surprised at how much these cartoons, originally meant for children, are totally relatable now in your late teens and early twenties. Here is your life in college, as told by the cartoons from your childhood:

You’re more broke than you ever thought possible, and even McDonald’s is occasionally a luxury you can’t afford.

 

Meanwhile, while you’re probably gonna be in debt for a good portion of your life, you’re paying so much tuition money you’re pretty sure your college is swimming in it.

 

You make bad choices, like putting off the test you should probably be studying for to go to Happy Hour instead.

 

And then you can’t even get any work done the next day because of your killer hangover, thanks to bottom shelf liquor and cheap shots.

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Daily Thoughts That Do Not Make You a Bad Person

As a college student, I find myself thinking some pretty strange and pretty terrible things on a daily basis. Sometimes these thoughts become words, but most of the time I question my sanity for thinking them and move on. While they might be some bad thoughts, I am not a bad person, and thinking/saying these don’t automatically make you bad. There are somethings that happen that deserve some pretty bad thoughts.

Here’s a list of thoughts most people have daily that aren’t as bad as you think:

10) I hate everyone.

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You may just be having a bad day, you might hate like 3 people so it is just easier to generalize. Its totally okay to hate everyone.

9) Everyone just needs to STFU.

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Again you’re probably having a terrible day, and there’s that stupid group of people yelling in the library as loud as possible. While you’re not a bad person, you’re probably a hungover person. Make sure you stay hydrated while telling people to pipe down.

8) Stop talking to me.

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Along with STFU, its just one of those days, you just want to be left alone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Don’t feel bad for keeping your head down, and quickly walking back to your room.

7) I would sacrifice you for a coffee. 

dirtybutton.com

That magic time of the morning before you had your coffee. You shouldn’t be expected to be nice, especially when someone is just down right too much. Its normal to want to sacrifice someone for coffee. You need the nectar of life, and are willing to do anything for it. Alright this one might just be me…

6) Can the proffessor just cancel class today?

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I get it, I paid a disgusting amount of money to attend class every day, but like, can’t he just take a day off? Really? Doesn’t he understand the need for me to lay in bed all day because I got too drunk last night?

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Thoughts When Paying Dues

So, it’s that time again… chapter dues are posted.

scared

You’ve been dodging your Big’s ‘pay your sh*t’ texts all week and the last day has finally caught up to you.

mom

You look at your ‘payment due’ and lament the fact that you took the high road and offered to pay your own way through your sorority.

desk

You briefly wonder whether your pride is worth it… maybe you should just call Dad?

Dad

No. NO. You’re a strong, independent woman and you can DO THIS.

Beyonce

Carefully, you open the details of your transactions. You read the outlandish charges on your account and begin the inner war with your past self.

hiding

DAMMIT T-SHIRTS! YOU GET ME EVERY TIME!

ross

I mean did I REALLY need all those date shirts? He wasn’t even that much fun.

Plus, he ended up acting like a drunken fool and I had help him walk. It was like aiding a baby giraffe.

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You swear to yourself that you will never purchase another date shirt again… though, even in this moment, you know it’s a lie.

liar

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Red Flags of a One Night Stand

College is all a learning experience.  Throughout your four years you will meet new people, lose old friends and develop new relationships.  For many people, a new type of relationship, and one of the shortest you will find, will form and this is the one night stand.  Whether you met him at a bar or he’s the cute guy from last semester’s history class, your relationship will only last you until the next morning when you can walk, heels in hand back to your room at 6am.  However, not everyone is always on the same page with this casual hookup.  So to keep things from ending poorly, here is a list of red flags for your next one night stand:
10. You have to be quiet because his mom is home- Now he deserves the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe he is just trying to save some money on rent but you do not want to wake up in the morning to his mom cooking you breakfast and asking what your intentions with her son are.
mother
9. He has a picture with his girlfriend next to his bed- Although it is just a one night stand, you really do not want to be the other woman.  While you may not owe her anything, the risk of the girlfriend calling him is enough to cause way too much stress.  You do not need that on your conscience.
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8. He tells you he is a virgin-  More power to him, he has waited to have sex and that is something most people don’t have the self control to do.  However, you do not want to be the one to take his virginity during a one night long relationship.  You don’t want the risk of making it more than it is.
virgin
7. He takes you to his car, not a house- Maybe he is down on his luck and that is completely understandable.  But you do not want to be caught hooking up in a car with a stranger and certainly you are both too drunk to drive the car anywhere secluded.  At the end of the day, not a good idea.
car
6. He has to tuck his kids into bed first- Good for him, he is clearly a very good looking older man and can pick up a younger girl.  However, he is clearly at a VERY different stage in his life than you are.  Plus you have no idea if his ex is crazy and you do not want to risk that.
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The Life of a College Student Told By Meghan Trainor

Meghan Trainor sings my life. There are plenty of songs out there about love and parties, but only Meghan Trainor sings about the true college struggles of texting your ex at 3am and those boys who will just not make it official.  So here are all of the things you wish you could say to people in your life in the wise words of Meghan Trainor:
14. “We know that shit ain’t real, come on now, make it stop” to all those you later realized are not real friends.
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13. “So don’t you let their words try to change you Don’t let them make you, into something you ain’t…” to your friend who cares a little too much about what people think.
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12. “I’m sure he’s worth a lot of gold But you’re better than you know And he’s no good for you” to your friend who always seems to be dating an asshole.
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11. “I got a head full of melodies stuck in my brain” to your teacher when you are trying to explain why you don’t focus in class.
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10. “Kinda stressing like I’m gonna have a heart attack it’s Been an hour and you haven’t even hit me back” to the people who don’t answer your texts immediately.
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9. “Of course I like you Can’t you hear it in my voice?” to the oblivious boy that you have been flirting with for months and still doesn’t seem to get it.
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8. “You gotta know how to treat me like a lady Even when I’m acting crazy Tell me everything’s alright” to anyone looking to date me, sorry I’m crazy.
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10 Upsides to Having a Long Distance Relationship

It has been said multiple times that long distance relationships never work out. Yes, they are hard and require a lot of work, but in the end sometimes, they are really worth the trouble and the worry that come with them.

10.  When you do see them, your face lights up like a Christmas tree. Putting in the effort is one thing after another, but finally seeing the person that you love dearly after months even years of not physically seeing them, is the most amazing feeling in the world.

9. In a long distance relationship, you develop a strong sense of trust that no one could ever break. In any relationship you have to have some trust, but in a long distance relationship that trust is not automatically given, it’s earned.

Do You Trust me

8. Your relationship is more than just physical. Having a physical relationship is hard when you are so far away from each other, but along with that comes a deeper more emotional connection.

7. Independence. Not having your significant other around all the time gives you more time to hang out with your friends and not be attached to your significant other. Learning that you don’t have to depend on each other is a great skill to have when you are apart.

independent

6. Learning to be creative when you can’t see each other. FaceTime and Skype were created for a reason, to communicate with people you cannot see often. Love letters and emails can also be alternatives to not seeing each other, it also brings a classic twist to your relationship.

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