8. Steven Spielberg- Theta Chi
Spielberg was totally the brother who spent a little too much time alone in his room. He was the artsy kid that was always taking weird classes and attending those weird free events on campus. He was definitely responsible for any and all rush videos and if frats had Tumblr pages, he was in charge. He was probably a bit of an outsider and missed too many of the keggers to be a true frat star, but hey, look who’s laughing now. At least now we know what we was doing all those years cooped up in his room but at the time, it probably just looked super sketchy.
7. James Marsden- Delta Tau Delta
Marsden was for sure the “pretty boy pledge” that was basically treated like a freshman all four years. He was picked on constantly and was always forced to shotgun yet another beer. Marsden was probably forced to clean up after every house party and clean the urinals with a toothbrush. At dinnertime, he was always served last and DEFINITELY sang in the communal showers. In his defense, he did the chapter wonders for attracting the ladies, but the older brothers would steal them from him every time.
6. Bob Barker- Sigma Nu
Call me crazy, but I’m sure Barker was a grade A frat star back in the day. He had women waiting on his hands and feet, and was the first guy to invite the other sororities over to party. When it came to socials, Barker meant business and always showed up to the event in the best themed outfit out of anyone else. He was the first guy to get up on the table and dance with the ladies. Hell, he had so much fun in college he kept smiling for years after.
5. Matthew McConaughey- Delta Tau Delta
Matt was a mix of pretty boy and frat star. We will call him party boy. Matt was the brother who would be dancing in the chapter room, beer in hand, with the speaker system blasting, an hour before the pregame even started. But his real vice was football tailgates. He would throw on a flannel and cowboy boots and belt country music at the top of his lungs while standing on the bed of a pickup truck. His favorite song would have been “Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy” but whenever girls were present he would change the lyrics to “save a horse, ride a McConaughey”.
4. Brad Pitt- Sigma Chi
Pitt was the weird pledge that thought he was really good with the ladies because he tried to get into a spiritual conversation with them while a roaring party was happening in the same room. In reality the girls went for it because he’s so good-looking but instantly turned away when he tried to make the conversation about their Zodiac sign. He was a great pot buddy for all the brothers but something about him was secretly a bit soft.
3. Tory Burch- Kappa Alpha Theta
Tory is what every sorority girl strives to be. In college, she was constantly busy, she was probably totally addicted to her planner and missed a few too many socials while she was applying for internships and planning how her life was gonna go to a T. She probably had a position and was on top of every task that was asked of her. She always had the best outfits at meeting and you would never see her on campus in less than a dress and belted cardigan.
2. Carrie Underwood- Sigma Sigma Sigma
Carrie was every southern fried frat boy’s dream girl. She was the girl dancing on the bed of pick up trucks at tailgates, her and McConaughey would get along great. Every guy drooled at the sight of her in her lettered game day shirt, Daisy Duke’s and cowboy boots. She got asked to every Weekender and kept up with the boys shotgunning beers on every single one of them She could throw on a TriSig tank top and jeans to go to class and still catch the attention of every guy on campus.
1. Lo Bosworth- Kappa Kappa Gamma
Miss Lolo didn’t miss any event in her entire 4 years. She was anywhere and everywhere. Everyone knew Lo and she always had the best gossip after a fun weekend and chapter meeting. Even though she did show up to everything and was a super active member, she participated with huge black sunglasses on and a chronic resting bitch face. The newest pledge class was definitely terrified of her and her little could not have been more honored to be related to her.