You’ve finally managed to curl your hair into those effortlessly soft waves that perfectly frame the makeup on your face that only took an hour to do. The leggings that make you butt look incredible have been slipped on along with your favorite piko-fur vest combination and booties with a three-inch heel that say, “I try but I don’t try too hard.” You’ve been dancing and singing to the blaring pump up music with your sisters and the combination of that and the bottle of wine in your hand make you feel invincible. Boys, watch out. But when you get to the party and realize that the Theta Chi you’ve been dancing with didn’t ask you for your name or when the SAE you’ve been talking to all night didn’t get your number or when you see the Beta you used to have thing with making out with one of your sisters, you seriously question whether or not you will ever get lavaliered. So, here are 21 reasons why you will most likely not meet your husband at a fraternity party.
21. The amount of seconds it takes for him to shotgun a beer is probably equal to his GPA.
20. His dancing skills only seem good because you’re drunk.
19. Jell-O shots are not an excusable reason for cheating on you.