The Drunk Food Pairing For Each Late Night Situation


After You See Your Ex With One Of Your Sisters At The Party

You stumble into the party and you see what you wish the alcohol would make you forget: your ex making out with one of your close sisters. She obviously knows who he is, whether or not he knows her, but you can’t help to hate them both simultaneously. You are furious and have this big gaping hole in your heart and you know what’s really good at filing spaces in your heart? Cholesterol, aka delicious gooey, crispy mozzarella sticks.

After You Just Had The Best Night Of Your Life

Before you went out tonight you knew your outfit was on point and at the pregame you were getting the perfect amount of drunk. You got with the hottest boy at the fraternity and danced like you owned the place. What better way to end the night then with the best kind of food out there, a milkshake with fifty different varieties of mix-ins to match your mood? Plus it comes in a cup so when you’re rambling and telling everyone about the best night of your life your ice cream won’t melt on you.

After You Just Had The Worst Night Of Your Life

You tripped in your wedges in front of everyone while you were dancing and got beer that spilled on the floor over your brand new top. All of the other drunk people there can’t hide their emotions so they laugh at you and you lost your friends somewhere in the band room. By the time you make it home the only thing that will make you feel better is food, and a lot of it. So you can either choose to empty out your fridge or drink the same amount of calories in alcohol form to forget what happened.

After A Boy Made You Cry

Boys can be insensitive or too sensitive, not care or be too protective and be too blunt or play games. They suck, but you’ll always want them. When they break your heart or are just plain mean to you, your sisters are there to pick you back up and comfort you, just like Krispy Kreme. The drive thru is open 24/7 and if you time it right, that beautiful red light will be on when you get there. A dozen donuts won’t fix what happened but it will make you feel better. As an added bonus they’re light a fluffy so you won’t feel fat after eating them, it’s almost guilt-free.

After Everyone Makes It Home Together

The pregame was wild, the music was blaring and you knew it was going to be a crazy night. As soon as you got to the fraternity house it seemed like all of your friends also decided to go to that same party. Everyone’s out socializing with their different friend groups, taking zaps and drinking the night away. As everyone starts to head home you realize that you lost everyone that you came with. When you walk outside of the house though, you magically find all of your friends waiting for each other, like a group trip to Taco Bell.

After You Drunkenly Call The Boy You Shouldn’t Be Talking To

Everyone seemed to get all the attention from boys tonight but you, or you’re not getting the attention you want from a specific someone. You feel hot but obviously something’s off. You start to doubt your outfit and your skills and on the walk home all you want is to feel loved. So logically, you call the boy that all of your friends hate, your ex or the one with the girlfriend and drunkenly have a conversation. You’ll always regret this no matter how much you want it in the moment. Just like the entire package of cinnamon rolls you’re going to eat when you get home.

After You’ve Been The Responsible One For The Night

You didn’t volunteer to be sober but when you’re playing mom you can only take so many shots. It was your job to keep everyone alive and to round everyone up when you were leaving the party. Instead of trying to please each of your friend’s whiny drunk food needs, you call Domino’s and order the most classic drunk food: a large cheese pizza. Everyone’s happy and it gets delivered to you.

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