The Competition Between You and Your Best Friend’s Boyfriend

As we all know, you and your best friend are cuter than most couples.  You will never see one of you without the other and more importantly neither of you want to be away from each other. Whether it’s the separation anxiety or just plain FOMO, you spend your whole life together. Until one day something horrible happens.  She gets a boyfriend.  Now it is not just you and her but you have to share her with someone.  Share her time, her attention, and her love. If you are reading this and think I sound crazy then you A. have not found your person yet or B. she has never had a boyfriend.  In these situations, your reactions are highly similar to that of a jealous girlfriend.  And as any jealous person knows, this is when the competition begins.  At this time you will begin quietly competing for your best friend’s time and attention but also trying to one up your competition by knowing your best friend a million times better than him (because duh you do).  This competition runs a very fine line of good-hearted fun and seriously competitive challenges but never the less you will obviously win.  And for those of you who have not yet experienced this, here are the five stages of competition with your best friend’s boyfriend.
Stage 1: Single- This is the best time to be around your best friend. She is single and not looking for anything serious.  This means that you get your partner in crime and she is wild.  She may flirt with some guys on and off but there is nothing serious going on.  She is all about her friends and lucky you, you have no one yet to compete with.  It is just you and her against the world and neither of you could be any happier.  All is good!
Stage 2: Talking- So it happened, your single best friend met someone.  It is still nothing too serious but he is slowly becoming more present in her life, and in turn yours.  She is still willing to go out, have fun, and party hard but may spend more time on her phone talking to said man.  Neither of you know him too well just yet but you are starting to hear more and more.  Maybe it is just the mention of his name and the debrief after they hangout or it has gotten serious and you are now being informed of his life story, either way, he is becoming more prevalent in both of your lives.
Stage 3: Friendship- And now your best friend and said boy have decided that they’re in love and have made things official. While they are both super happy, there is part of you that just isn’t.  Now you just want her to be happy, you don’t want to lose her to someone else so you try to make friends.  Since they are spending almost all of their time together, you happen to be there sometimes when they hangout and therefore you and him have developed a civility towards each other.
Stage 4: Jealously- Now maybe it has been a few weeks or months since they have been dating but now there has been a shift.  Your best friend has been spending even more time with her boyfriend and less with you.  They are in love and that is okay but you are also not invited to hangout with them anymore either.  This reason being that he is also very jealous of your friendship.  You have known her longer, you spend more time together and frankly she obviously likes you more.  But all of this leads to a clearly visible tension between you two.
Stage 5: Defeat- Awkward tensions aside, you and your best friend’s boyfriend both care dearly about her and have that in common.  You both may be able to move on from the jealously on one condition, he admits that you always come first.  In the end you will win because whether the relationship lasts or not, you will always remain her best friend.  He must accept his own defeat and then you all can move on and be one happy family.
You love and care for your best friend with all of your heart but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to love her boyfriend.  But you do have to tolerate him while ensuring the happiness of your best friend.  I joke about the competition for your friends time and attention which is all true but at the end of the day, you best friend is the most important person in both of your lives and that means you can put aside whatever differences you have to make her happy.  But know that you will always be in her life whether she is in a relationship or not.
Madison Norwich

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