Big-little relationships are probably the most important ones you’ll have in college. That’s not to say I don’t believe in love, rather I believe in sisterhood more at this point in my life. Not only are they important, but the weeks leading up to them are so exciting. You spend all summer (and all your money) on crafts for this sweet addition to the fam. All you’re waiting for now is to know her name so you can slap a bunch of monograms on it. You meet the new pledge class, you try out a few girls, before finding THE ONE. You’re so sure that she would be your perfect little, and you’re pretty sure she feels the same. You send in your vote to the New Member Moms, and start getting excited/anxious.
The day finally comes when you race to the house to get that piece of paper with her name, and a bunch of little facts about her like her favorite colors, candy, room scheme, and more. You excitedly rip open the envelope, almost ripping that precious piece of paper, and open it only to see a name that you don’t recognize. You didn’t meet her in the weeks prior, in fact you had no idea who she was. Naturally you go home to Facebook creep, but not before getting really upset that it wasn’t who you thought.
It’s finaly that time of year. Mean Girls said it best: “In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” Lets be honest though, adult world is similar to girl world except we’re all smart enough to go to Walgreens the day after and get the same delicious candy for 70% off. The best of both worlds my friends.
Some people plan this shit for weeks. Down to the last perfect accessory for their perfect group costumes. And that’s cool, whatever gets ya going. And some people (me) are last minute as hell. This is the one time a year that I’m typically more concerned about making it to the festivities than what I’m wearing. The parties are nothing short of fantastic mostly because of a ridiculous alcohol supply and a slew of people too drunk to realize their costumes are falling off. Hilarity always ensues. The bars are just as awesome, for the same reasons, minus the whole cost of buying drinks thing. But, if you play your cards right, you probably won’t have to drop a dime. So don’t stress.
You neglect to actualy plan a costume, so you stare blankly into your closet and wonder what sort of miracle you can conjure up with pieces from Theme Parties Past. Your friends all start to think you’re shooting for the moon here.
I mean…. you throw yourself together in under ten minutes some mornings and you haven’t been burned yet so…
You finally create a “perfect” ensemble of stuff, so theres enough cleavage showing but not too much to be a hoe, and believable enough to make people think you actually tried. But… sadly.. there is always that ONE friend who last minute decides to bail out. This doesn’t just happen on Pint Night, but Halloween is just as bad, if not worse! “Yeeeeeeeahhhh I think I’m just gonna skip this year..”
Clearly she needs another drink. Someone get her dressed and pour her a large tumbler of vodka sour. You cannot back out on this night.
Or…. you could just drive to Chipotle.
After a long day of lectures and work, you realize you’ve neglected a craving all day. Your stomach is clearly not happy with you, because contrary to popular belief, you cannot load it with coffee and m&m’s all day and expect it to be fine. You. Need. SUBSTANCE!
Rally the pals because it is GO TIME Y’ALL.
And Wednesdays, Thursdays, days that end in Y…….
Run on over to the Srat Castle, and let em know where you’re going (even though they already know) and extend the invite. All of a sudden, people start throwing you some of these….