We’ve all seen the movies where two people choose to be F.W.B. or Friends With Benefits specifically to have fun then time passes and someone catches feelings, they break things off, then they realize they really do love each other and end up together. Even though there seems to be drama with having a F.W.B there are a few pros to go with this.
5. You Like It Or Nah?
Have you heard “Let your freak flag fly?” Yes? It’s time to put that phrase to work. This is when the using part of this relationship; you get to do something for YOU. You get to figure out what you like and what you don’t like when it comes to the intimate part of your life. Oh you don’t like it when someone blows in your ear? It’s all gravy because now you know and it will never happen again. You would rather have someone one give you a nice long back scratch. Come to find out you may or may not like everything that he does or he might open you up to new experiences. You should have no shame in your game because this is your opportunity to sort it all out.
4. No Judgement Here
This judgement-free zone isn’t the same as the one at your local gym. In this zone no effs are given, pun intended, because that’s what real friends do for you. Friends shouldn’t care about the certain flaws that make you, well you. Since you are both friends it makes being friends with benefits much easier given that you are already comfortable with each other. Plus you are both clear on the terms which is sex without strings because that is the main point of this whole arrangement. This backs up the reasons why you should be letting your freak flag fly. No judgement right?
In late 2015 the phrase “Netflix and Chill” started trending. Whether you were Netflixing with your boo or by yourself, Netflix has gotten to know your picks very well. If these picks are in your line up here’s what they might say about you.
5. Gossip Girl, 90210, Melrose Place
These three shows have a couple of things in common. They have gorgeous people with impeccable fashion sense, endless drama, and love triangles. If one of these fabulous shows have slithered their way into your que then it means one of the following. You’re an it girl; you tend to love the attention of others and a socialite lifestyle peaks your interest. You also enjoy the finer things in life whether it be the newest fashion line that is out or the newest bachelor on the block. You and your friends enjoy looking good, feeling good, and having a good time with good looking people.
4. Say Yes To The Dress, Bridezilla, David Tutera
Say Yes To The Dress is my ultimate guilty pleasure and David Tutera gives me all the wonderful ideas to put towards the wedding that may or may not be happening in the future. If you have these types of shows lingering in your que then you are a perfectionist at heart. Plus every girl, whether they want to admit it or not, dreams of their special day down to the glitter that falls on the reception’s floor. You want everything to go your way or it’s the highway for whomever doesn’t agree.
We have all heard of home sickness once or twice in our life time and have experienced it before even if we didn’t know it. Whether it was while we were away at over night camp, staying the week with your grandparents, or when our parents dropped us off at college. The difficult thing is that it never actually goes away, in fact home sickness tends to come in waves and at the most random times. I’ve found that it interrupts my life during the most stressful times. It could be around the time of a major exam or when I’ve been in silent mode with a friend. Throughout the years at college I have found little ways to make college feel a little more like home especially while living in my own apartment. Following these steps will bring you one step closer to your happy place.
Take a second to close your eyes and think back to when you were in high school and you would walk through the front door after getting off the bus. What do you smell? The cookies that mom has just taken out of the oven that are cooling on the counter. Or you catch a whiff of the freshly cut roses that were just picked from the garden. Whatever smell comes to your mind it’s there and it is a memory. So let’s bring those memories back. I’m not saying that you have to bake racks of cookies cause that will get expensive fast and will go straight to your butt. All you have to do is take a trip to your nearest WalMart and head to their candle isle, pick up a $3 candle ranging from the smells of sugar cookies to freshly bloomed roses.
I believe that artwork can embody a lot of memories. From an animal calendar representing all of the animal babies that you had to leave behind at home. One special piece of artwork that I have incorporated into the flow at my apartment are crosses. My family loves crosses for their artistic appeal as well as their religious contribution; so we choose to hang them up right next to the front door. We do this as a symbol of when we are walking out the front door we are walking past the cross which symbolizes Christ coming with us on our journeys outside of the house. So I have a little cross hanging by my front door and it gives me my memories of my family and the comforts that it comes with.
Pictures are known to hold the best of best memories so why not stock up. Having pictures of all the things that you love surround you in your own personal space can help you when you have a home sick episode. Whenever you are feeling down all you have to do is look at one of the pictures that you cherish most and you’re taken away for a sweet moment just to remember that time.
When it comes to NYE memories will be made while you’re living it up with your best pals. Nowadays a night out doesn’t count unless there are pictures to prove it. Memories are made via pictures and shared all over social media and the only way to make yourself picture perfect is to put your best face forward with the best hair and makeup combos to go with your perfect outfit.
5.Where There’s SMOKE There’s Fire
If you’re feeling a little edgy on this night then I would recommend going for a full lid smokey eye with a little bit of glitter to highlight the inside corners of your eyes. Accent this look with some wispy false eyelashes and pair it with a matte or glossy nude lip whichever you prefer.
If this is too dramatic for you all you have to do is move whichever dark color you’re using and move it to the outside corners of your eyes and fill the remaining space on your lid with whatever color that you are feeling for that night.
4.Bring It Back
Since there is so much going on in the eye area this means that a simple hair do is in store. When it comes to the more dramatic smokey eye look I would recommend pairing it with a slicked back ponytail. It’s simple and easy yet there is still a hint of edge to it.
If you decided to go with the less dramatic smokey eye I recommend going with your hair down in a loose wave pattern and take a risk and part your hair down the middle. When you walk into your party venue this hair style will allow you to feel like a Victoria’s Secret model up until you stop walking. Maybe when you and your friends are taking pictures the wind will lift your hair at the right time and you will be absolutely flawless.
There comes a time in every girls life where they just don’t feel it anymore. The feeling that I am talking about is the party girl feeling. The same old house parties start to get dull and staying out until 3 a.m riding around your college town takes more out of you than before. Then you start seeing the same faces at the same events and that is when you know you’ve made it to the regular crew. Here are six signs you are turning into an ex-party girl:
6. Dress it down
When you are first introduced to the college party scene, you are ready to leave your mark — so you had a dress for every occasion with the matching heels to go with it. On those nights out you were feeling yourself and your mark was left for quite a few people to appreciate. Now the tables have turned. You know before you go out who will be at what event that is happening that night. Now instead of pulling out your special dress, you turn to your most comfortable pair of jeans or yoga pants that you pair with your favorite comfort colors t-shirt. Yet you will find yourself staring at your lonely dresses and your neglected heels wishing you could put them on. It’s a sad day for your closet.
5. No Friends Zone
When you went out, you knew any and every person that was at that party, and you didn’t have to worry about who you were going to arrive with because you were always the one that people called when they wanted to head someplace. You always had that good friend that you would crash with after a memorable night of partying and then wake up and get breakfast with. Now that you’re hopping off the party bus, you start to ask yourself if you even have real friends. You scroll through your phone’s contact list and every person that you would call would rather be partying or drinking — they would never be up for Netflix, a bottle of wine, and a deep dish pizza. Crazy right? To add to that feeling of no friends, you find yourself hanging out with the same two people all the time.
4. Fear of Missing Out
When you’re a fresh party girl you feel like if you don’t go to every single party that is thrown then you will automatically miss out on something. Being an Ex-Party girl you’re not worried about missing out on something whatsoever. You’re at that stage of if it happens, then it happens or if I’m suppose to be there, then I’ll find a way to be there eventually. What we are concerned about missing now is time with bae and growing that relationship or whatever else has happened to catch your attention.
Bringing the opposite sex home to meet the people who know you best can be a little wishy washy. I’ve seen my two sisters bring a couple of guys home to meet our parents and they acted like it was a routine thing. In my young ripe life that I am living I have only brought one guy that turned into more than a friend home to meet my family and that was because my dad said I had to. I guess you could say I am a cautious person when it comes to my personal life and my family life becoming one, yet I do have my reasons. These are the cons of never bringing my guys home.
My house is my safe haven. It is where I can be myself and not be judge and all that. It is a place where I am comfortable and carefree and I where no one cares if i wear pants or not. Bringing someone foreign into my space takes a lot. In my eyes, if I bring a guy to my house they are able to see my vulnerable side and not the tough front that everyone is so familiar with. Then there’s my family.
Meet my family, they’re embarrassing
I’m pretty sure that everyone feels one of three ways about their families. First they are either completely and utterly embarrassed of their family and don’t want to be seen with them anywhere. Second, they are completely comfortable with the actions of their family and most likely engages in those actions with them. Finally, they feel both ways, sometimes they are too embarrassed to be seen with them or better yet they say ‘to hell with it’ and act a fool along side your blood line. Yet my family has a way of rambling embarrassing things when boys stop by. I think it is a way of dealing with the shock that I actually brought someone into our house and that someone happens to be a boy so they just happen to be choked up with word vomit that happens to contain the most embarrassing things that they can think of about me. Bright red is not a flattering color on my face and embarrassment is not a warm feeling.
For the young adults that choose to go out into the big city to celebrate New Years Eve with their squad, there are a few rules to follow. And who makes the best rules to follow when it comes to painting the town red and throwing lavish parties? Well the lovely people that make up Gossip Girl of course. Leave it to the teenagers of the upper east side to throw the most memorable party. Follow these simple rules and everyone will remember how they spent their New Years Eve with you… or maybe not.
You’re wearing a potato sack
From the wise words of Eleanor Waldorf, “If you’re going to wear one of my creations, make sure it fits properly.” This goes for anything that you wear. Yet on New Years Eve, it’s one of the few nights that you want to look oh so fabulous. So you want to make sure that your dress is fitting in all the right places and highlighting your assets.
If you and your friends decide to party at home for the night, this sets you up to turn the night into a themed party. Take notes from Ms. Blair Waldorf, the queen of parties and the themes to go with them. A themed party just makes letting lose a little more easier. So follow in the footsteps of Queen B herself and pull out your book of themes. You can never go wrong with a masquerade or A Kiss On The Lips theme just to name a few.
On one hand going to school on a small campus can have a its benefits. It has that small town feel to where they have family owned diners with the best breakfast, the locals come and support at the football games, and the owner of the small boutique knows your name. Don’t let the hometown goodness fool you because once you step on campus that filter goes away. The cons that you will probably run to things such as:
Your Business is Their Business
Everyone knows either from personal experience or witnessing someone going through their business being put out for everyone to enjoy, except that person. At a small school it seems like everyone is connected to everyone by someone; everyone is each other’s mutual friend. So say you end up getting into it with one of your good friends. She tells the guy she is talking to, he tells his roommates, they tell their teammates, the teammates tell their girlfriends, and the girlfriends tell their friends, and one of those friends come right back to you. Theirs no room for you to live and make a mistake or two because I’m pretty sure that’s a part of life; you know the phrase “you live and you learn”? No? I guess that’s what happens when people see things one way.
Lose 1 friend, lose all friends
Sometimes you feel like campus is so small that you can be friends with everybody. I mean maybe if you try hard enough that could possibly work out. In reality you find a group of people that mesh the best with you and your ways. Yet when you first find this group of friends you’re not thinking about the flaws that they have, you’re thinking about what party you guys are going to crash this weekend. Then you turn around and do something that is not to the liking of the ring leader. When queen bee is upset everyone catches her wrath. She says jump her workers ask how high. She says we out they grab her stuff. So once she decides that she is done with you then her followers are done with you as well. Then you have to start from scratch and find yourself a new group of friends.
The Journey of dating is a very unpredictable one. Once you meet a person, depending on how the first date went, you fantasize about how everything will play out down the road. Grant it, the chances are that the relationship you want to happen will actually play out the way you want it is slim to none. But the legendary Ariel for Disney’s The Little Mermaid is here to guide us through the journey of dating.
We’ve all heard about love at first sight and have possibly experienced it. The moment when you see him in at a crowded party or playing the sport that he is oh so good at you sweet girl are now intrigued. You like the way he moves, the way he talks, the color of his hair, and the way he interacts with everyone. from what you see he seems like a pretty good guy and you want him. Game on.
Creeper Status Reached
Since you have your sources and by that you now know you have mutual friends with your new eye candy you have found out his name. With that name who knows what you will find. So you start on all the social media websites; you type his name in, press search, and hold your breath while it loads because your dreams could possibly get crushed in a matter of seconds. The page stops loading and he is the first result. After creeping all the way back to week 152, you like what you see even more. He’s family oriented, DOES NOT have a girlfriend, and he loves dogs. This guy seems too good to be true. The only thing left to do is find a way to talk to him.
Now that you have done your research you’re ready to get to the next step but you don’t really know how to get there. Yet you do know someone who does. That one good friend that knows how to make basically anything happen. Every time you ask for her help you owe her a favor and it’s like you are signing your life away, well temporarily. Yet she never fails to make things happen so she’s good for something.
In any foreign situation that you go in blind you have an uneasy feeling and then the next thing you know something bad happens. I have learned from many personal experiences that when my gut started telling me that something isn’t right, something bad usually ended up happening. Here are some other situations that you should trust your gut.
The set-up guy
We have that one friend that we either go to when we need a date for a party or they have found somebody we would hit it off with. Your friend is setting you up on a date with this guy, let’s name him Johnny. So you creep on Johnny’s social media and you find out from his Facebook that he’s kind of boring and doesn’t really post anything worth mentioning, that’s a red flag. According to his Instagram he falls into the sorta hot category but he doesn’t start a fire in your heart, plus your friend says he’s a nice guy so you decide to meet up with him because you have nothing else to lose when it come to your dating life. Then you find out you were right. He is boring and sorta hot but he doesn’t make you want to just stare at him for the whole date. Gut feeling lesson, if he hasn’t caught your attention on paper he probably won’t catch your attention in public.
Not so comfortable home boy!
If you have a feeling that something isn’t right with the guy that you are spending your evening with then your gut is probably telling you something and you need to get out while you can. It doesn’t matter if you feel like this guy might have a psychotic side or if he is being a little bit too romantic for your taste, you obviously don’t like it so leave! It is better advised that you get out of an uncomfortable situation while you can before your hangout session turns into an episode of Scream Queens. The simplest excuse to get you out of there and to the safety of your own home is, “I’m pretty tired I think I’ll head home. text me!” You’re now home free with no questions to be asked.
When your friend says she’s ok but….
We really know that your friend is not okay no matter how many times they say that they are. After spending so much time with a certain person we start to learn how they work. From their body language, their tone of voice, and the level of their tolerance. When something is wrong they literally walk around like a weight is holding them down, when they tell you that their fine their voice goes up an octave, and they start to be a bit more sassy than usual. It’s best to bring them a cupcake or a case of cupcakes by just in case, they are life and will help soften the blow of whatever is going on.
We have all had those mornings where we thought we had enough time to go from disturbing to flawless but we really didn’t. The next thing that you know it’s 5 minutes before you’re suppose to leave and you’re still in your underwear. so you throw the cleanest outfit on grab your purse and keys and you’re out the door. During your drive something just feels off, as in you might have forgotten something important like your phone. So you check your purse and that little nagging feeling you had in the pit of your stomach came out positive. You forgot your phone, the landline of your life.
Listen…I don’t really tell you guys very often that I love and appreciate all that you do. You guys have molded my life in so many ways that it’s surreal when I realized it. I have heard from multiple people that when you’re in college you will probably meet your husband, bridesmaids, and of course your best friends. I can honestly say that I haven’t found my husband, but I have found my bridesmaids as well as the greatest friends I could ever have. You guys are all that I need. We are the reasons why Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are still running thanks to the many memories between us being caught. It’s funny now that I sit back and think about how much you guys know who I am even when I don’t feel like I know myself. I can tell y’all anything and you know just by the change of my voice that something isn’t right.
There are certain things that have happened this past semester to help me realize that you are my best friends. You guys have been there with me during the roughest times and you continue to take on life with me. A warm and fuzzy feeling is created by the fact that I can call them up at any hour just to talk. If there is nothing else to do I can head over to their place and sit on the couch for hours just roasting on any and everybody. They are the people that I know will sit front and center at every home basketball game and possibly the closest away game. You guys boost me up to a 10 when I am feeling like a 2 which at times can be large task to accomplish! I can always count on them to tag along with me when I don’t wanna go somewhere alone. Whether that be to a party or to the next town to get food they are ready to go. One of the most important things that I treasure is that I am able to be myself and say what I want without feeling like they are judging me. Even though it leads to us joking and laughing about how ridiculous I sound. I realized you guys were my best friends when these three things happened. First, as petty as it seems, we don’t really care for the same people so it makes it a little bit more fun when we have our roasting sessions on the couch. Next, they’ve picked me up when I was having family problems or other problems with friends; when I had nowhere else to turn they were there with my favorite drink and time to spare. Finally, they are able to keep me on the straight and narrow and it’s like they are reading my mind for what I’m about to do next. All of these things I am grateful for, if I didn’t have you guys I would probably be completely lost. There are times when I am overreacting and you bring me down to Earth again to and I realize that I’m being dramatic. Without you guys as friends I’d probably be hanging out with no one or the wrong people, making not so good decisions and stressing over nothing. So thank you for putting up with my shenanigans, tagging along with me to get impromptu tattoos even if you were studying for a test, being my buddy to watch the guys play basketball, and finally allowing me to express my feelings even though I know you’ll call me emotional. You all will be there for the important times and the depressing times. For my wedding, kids, and whatever else comes up in between. Thank you for being my back bone when I didn’t have the nerve to say or do what I felt was right as well as my strength when I didn’t think I couldn’t handle what life was throwing at me. I feel like there is so much I want to say to all of you and in addition to that feeling is the fact that “I love you”, “I care for you” “I’m here for you” can’t possibly cover how important every single one of you are to me. I remember telling one of you that I didn’t really feel like you truly cared about what’s going on with me and that since I don’t really get to see my family, you and everyone else in my circle are my family. After I let that slip you calmly looked me in the eye and told me if you didn’t care about me then you wouldn’t be talking with me. That’s love, that’s family forever and always.
I love you guys to the moon and back,
When girls are seniors in high school they usually go on they’re campus visit to the college they have been accepted to or will be accepted to shortly, that’s when they catch a glimpse of the sorority life that is on campus. Once they have visited these girls go onward to orientation. At my orientation all the sororities that are part of campus had a table set up for us to come and check out. That is when I had a chance to have actual human interaction with the girls and when my first impression was set. I’m sure just like me, the girls went home and started creeping on these chapters. Whether they did their creeping on their national website, Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. Well in the south most sororities fill the stereotype of long hair, perfect skin to go with their perfect makeup, tanned bodies, an impeccable taste in clothing, and a smile that makes anybody want to hang out. An image that a lot of girls that are looking to obtain as soon as they step onto campus. It was something I was use to growing up with and something I was comfortable with. I guess people would call me an Oreo if you will. I went to school with majority of white students so a white sorority was something familiar. When I brought this up to my parents the first thing they said was to do whatever I wanted because I was 18 and I was able to make decisions on my own now. My two older sisters had a different opinion. they thought that I should join a sorority to where the majority of the members were black so I can be around more people that looked like my skin color. Their reason was that I could find a guy who was in another black frat. When I heard that I was surprised that my dear sisters would even think of that. Then My parent’s opinion changed the further we got into summer. My mom thought I should honor my godmother by being in a black sorority since nobody in our immediate family went Greek. My father believed I should be in one because it would help with getting a job which is true, sorority life is great for networking.
Since I go to a smaller school, formal recruitment starts around the second week which meant I had time to make my final decision. Those weeks passed by and I chose to give formal recruitment a try. When I went to the first meeting I noticed a few black girls going through which gave me a little hope. I went through recruitment week, received and accepted my bid, and started my legacy. This is when things became a little complicated. On Monday’s all of Greek life, no matter what council you are in, dresses up just a way to start the week off right. For my sorority we called it Hottie Tottie Monday. So I was dressed up with my new member pin, sitting in the student center with one of my friends and his frat brothers when a girl walked up to me. She looked at me, then looked at my pin, then back to me and asked, “what sorority are you in?” I knew since she saw the ivy leaf she assumed I was a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha, so I corrected her with Alpha Phi. I could never forget her face of astonishment followed by, “Oh, well, why did you choose them?” I was taken back at this because I was under the assumption that everyone accepted Greek life….I was wrong. I replied the only way I knew how, “Because when I entered their house, they treated me like one of their own and it felt like I belonged there.” She just replied with an oh to match the eyes that were rolling to the back of her head and she added, “Hope you don’t regret your decision.” Then she dismissed herself to talk to the other groups of people that were there. I can honestly say that I was taken back and my feelings were hurt. My new sisters didn’t find it weird to have a black girl in their sorority so why would anybody else? Now this wasn’t the last time that I have been asked this question. Luckily I’ve had others to back me up when I couldn’t find the words.
I like being one of the few colored faces in my sorority. It gives me a chance to bring more diversity to my chapter. This past recruitment I’ve had black girls ask some of my sisters if the sorority even accepts black girls and that’s when I’m able to introduce myself and help them along with any questions that they may have. I’m comfortable where I have found my home. I love my sisters and I love being a sister. Because here we have no color wheel that we go by, as cheesy as it sounds, we like personality over all. I’ve tried to explain to my family and non Greeks that a sisterhood isn’t about color it is about bonding with a group of young women that hold the same values and ambitions as you do. Obviously they didn’t like that answer because what I always get back is a whatever. Yet every formal recruitment and informal recruitment I get the “look” that is like close to, “You’re and Alpha Phi, your not white??” It hurt and it sucks that i can’t help other people see and feel what I do. My sisters don’t have a problem with it so neither do I.