They get you where you need to go, they always let you take over the AUX chord and they will even help you in your quest to get the best, greasy drive-thru food you can think of. They are the beloved pledge drivers.
There is a lot to say about these fine, young gentlemen. I have learned first hand that pledges do not accept tokens of your gratitude in the form of Taco Bell, text messages of recommendations to their pledge masters and/or hugs. So instead of doing any of that, I will simply write a blog post to thank all of the pledge drivers out there for there efforts.
For starters, if it weren’t for pledge drivers, I guarantee there would be much more of a likelihood to drink and drive on college campuses. Thankfully, though, sober drivers ensure the safety for both the people in the car and for the pedestrians walking around campus. Obviously this is the most important thing that pledge drivers do, but again, they are so much more than our chauffeurs.
Pledge drivers are like therapists. We’ve all gone to that one party where we saw Jake hooking up with Jessica even though Jake texted us and asked if we wanted to watch Netflix later which is always code for us to hook up. Seriously, Jake, it’s like sometimes you seem like you don’t even care.
So naturally after seeing Jake and Jessica being gross with their DFMO (dance floor make-out) we leave and get into the first pledge ride we can get. The second we shut the door, we release our emotions and the pledge helps us make reason of Jake’s idiotic actions. Despite the fact that Jake is your pledge driver’s future fraternity brother, he will always take your side whenever you are in his car.
They protect us. They give us their time and seat-warmers during the cold season to ensure that we do not have to walk to the bars in frigid weather. They blast their air conditioning during the early months of school so that we are not dripping with sweat before entering a party (where we will eventually be dripping with sweat, so they really just prolong that inevitability.) They watch out for us as if they are our parents driving us to school. In fact, they are so much more than that, because instead of being our parents, though, they are pledge drivers. And instead of driving us to school, they are driving us to alcohol-fueled social events.
Pledge drivers can also become our friends. We can talk to them for the 5-10 minutes we’re in the car about music, school and home life. You’d be surprised by the deep conversations that can happen in the car with a pledge. The best part is, that once they are done with pledging they will be able to party with you!
So thank you to all the pledge drivers out there for keeping us safe, keeping us happy and allowing us to be obnoxious drunkards who insist that you play “Four Five Seconds” for the entire car ride. You inspire us to be more patient, and we cannot thank you enough for getting us to and from. Drive safely, and we will (try to) drink responsibly.
All sorority girls ever
P.S.- you guys are so close to brotherhood. Keep on trucking!